revision essay custom essay

[pewslideshow slidename=anim2]

hello , first of all this is an essay i wrote and i need to revise it to the highest level.

my teacher wrote me note why my essay was not so good please follow it.
i also went off topic a little bit so maybe it’s also the reason for not having the best essay.

1. summary may lack some key points. thesis answer the essay question. essay inclides info from the reading , body paragraphs attempt to support the topic sentence with info and reasoning but not always sufficiently developed.

2. while grammatical structures and sentences convey meaning, they contain noticeable errors.

3. body paragraph topic sentences fail to link back to the thesis.

4. inncorrect paragrapgh /essay structure.

ok so there are also 3 articles i used in this essay i’ll attach it as files and also put the essay and the question here.

one more thing , in this classes they teach us hos to write a college level essay hook, thesis ..body paragrapgh – 3 majors , 2 minors …so follow it as well it’s very important .

colleges- like the real world – should allow students to make their own decisions about their personal health. agree or disagree.

in the body paragraph of your essay use info from the assigned articles as well as your own personal or obeserved experiences:

this is the essay:

The article By steinberg explores the contects with the vantage point of how colleges are adapting a smoke-free campuses.
This cause comes from a purpose of advancing the interest of groups who seek to create a better environment for students.
The remains to be an important part of the educational setting because part of the functions corresponds to the maintenance of healthy and safe environment. by advocating the solutions towards a non-smoking environment.
Schools are able to create and establish relevance and accountability in pursuing their specific purpose and action. Likewise, schools who advocate this purpose also serve a good example for students in supporting non-smoker behavior.
It is with such conditions that many schools are increasingly adapting it’s policies to create a wider depth and exploratetive application to students.
I agree with students should not allowed to make their own decisions about their personal health habits. this paper examines strategies some universities are taking towards illegalizing the habit in their institutions , plus a personal observation regarding the habit.

Huge statistics of about 46 million Americans above the age of 18 years are smokers of tobacco. This finding helped to strengthen the resolve of the University to initiate the banning tobacco smoking (Steinberg, 2011). A report by the first Surgeon general in 1964 about the negative attributes of smoking made this habit less trendy, encouraging the ban. Some of the strategies that have made the ban successful have been a penalty of picking up tobacco litter. This made smokers take responsibility for their actions. More strict penalties included a payment of a penalty of $15 (Steinberg, 2011). The good news about the University of Kentucky�s decision is that after the ban, many people sought university treatment services while others enrolled into cessation programs. However, the author warns that those interested in going the Kentucky way should begin with persuasion strategies rather than using assertive methods. The author�s positive perception is that ten years from now, all universities in the United States will be 100% tobacco free.
in closing, universities are thinking about the best interest of their students not only in smoking , in personal health habits as well that ultimately meant to guide them to a healthier life style.

in addition, The University of California has issued a letter that will illegalize smoking in its Campuses, starting the year 2014 (Zarinkhou, 2012. first of all, According to the author, this ban has been informed by both health and environmental concerns, and it will affect both the selling and advertising of tobacco in the institutions. The administrators of the university believe that, the ban will contribute to the good health of both the staff and the students (Zarinkhou, 2012). secondly, Banning of smoking is strategically positioned to helps students to consider stopping the habit in the earlier stages of their life. This enables them to control the habit before it takes a greater effect on them in their mature life. It will also enable them to reduce the percentage of smokers in America�s public life. Already, the University of Kentucky has implemented the 100% ban of smoking in its institution. The role of tobacco in an educational setting had been put into question by students and faculty. This necessitated the blanket ban.
finally, if one university has accomplished it’s target of 100% ban of smoking , it shows a great amount of willing by the institutions and student to make a healthier habits for them and set an example to the rest of institutions in america how it should be made successfully.

Additionally, in a personal note personal health habits has always taken an integral part of my life.
first of all, i have been educated by my mom how important is to have a healthier life style, either avoiding ” junk food” or developing a smoking cigaretts habits which eventually could be a major factor of illnesses.
in addition, i personally attend the gym at least five times a week. not only that it helps obtaining my physical goals, it makes me a healthier individual who avoids many bad health habits.
lastly, many of my friends have a bad smoking habits. i could easily dragged after their habits , however i come to realize that health habits makes the person simply a happier individual than those who do have a bad health habits.
i do not have either the authority or the right to tell friends or random people what habits they should adapt due to the fact i’m only allowed to criticized myself. however, those who have the authority should not allow students to make their own decisions because they are way too young to understand the impact of their habits on their future, and someone(college) must be leading them to a healthier habits.

in conclusion, The ban of tobacco use in Universities is a sensitive issue, because it separates these institutions from public life that encourages smoking. This comes at a time when rights and freedom have been deeply entrenched into the modern society. The Universities hence decided to become bold in order to protect their staff and students from the health effects of smoking. Staggering statistics have revealed that most of the smokers in the American public life started the habit in Campuses. Because most students smoke, curative programs have been developed to deal with this figure, before concentrating on those that are not yet initiated into the habit.

Place an order of a custom essay for this assignment with us now. You are guaranteed; a custom premium paper being delivered within its deadline, personalized customer support and communication with your writer through out the order preparation period.

[pewslideshow slidename=anim3]

Still stressed from student homework?
Get quality assistance from academic writers!